That... was a whole lot at once. At least this guy is happy to see someone else who's green, but, hold on-

"Okay, one, I always look good, even like this." He takes a moment to strike a pose, even though, OW, bruises... But the point still stands! "Two, red-eared sliders don't have spikes. And three... not recently."

Which is a good thing, trust him.