[ i'm sorry i let you down. i'm sorry i would always let you down that way and i don't even wish i wouldn't because my life would be meaningless without you. he could say it forever, cascading with guilt, but never could he regret. regret would mean he'd allow viktor to slip from his fingers without suffering. let him go, and it was more probable that jayce would go mad in the head before accepting that fact. he doesn't push back. he knows, they've had tis conversation before. the only thing jayce would at the very least like to leave him with is full disclosure, quiet, shivering, small but at the very same time with a heart for viktor that did not fit in his chest. ]
I couldn't fathom— living a life . . . Without you in it.
[ despite his vulnerable words and their devout connotations, he doesn't expect it to be a justified excuse. just— a why. he broke his promise, he did. he broke many promises until he vowed to keep his last.
he feels awful that he'd either do it again or plunge off a ledge uninterrupted.
it feels a bit much to add anything else, for the moment. his heart feels like it was close to bursting, and because of that his eyes stay glued to the car roof. ]
cw: suicide ideation
[ i'm sorry i let you down. i'm sorry i would always let you down that way and i don't even wish i wouldn't because my life would be meaningless without you. he could say it forever, cascading with guilt, but never could he regret. regret would mean he'd allow viktor to slip from his fingers without suffering. let him go, and it was more probable that jayce would go mad in the head before accepting that fact. he doesn't push back. he knows, they've had tis conversation before. the only thing jayce would at the very least like to leave him with is full disclosure, quiet, shivering, small but at the very same time with a heart for viktor that did not fit in his chest. ]
I couldn't fathom— living a life . . . Without you in it.
[ despite his vulnerable words and their devout connotations, he doesn't expect it to be a justified excuse. just— a why. he broke his promise, he did. he broke many promises until he vowed to keep his last.
he feels awful that he'd either do it again or plunge off a ledge uninterrupted.
it feels a bit much to add anything else, for the moment. his heart feels like it was close to bursting, and because of that his eyes stay glued to the car roof. ]